From as far as I can remember, I felt unhappy and alone. I have never seen a candid photo of myself as a child where I was smiling. The only smiling photos were those where I was told to smile. Before I was eight years old I wrote wills, hoping to die and wanting to make sure my "stuff' was distributed where I wanted it.

As I got older into my teen years, I didn't think about dying as much-I guess because I figured out that such thoughts were not normal. But I was still unhappy. I didn't have close friends. I could never open up to other people. As I became an adult I looked for people to love me, but since I was never really happy, most of my relationships failed. I tried counseling, but nothing really helped.

When I married my current husband ten years ago, I finally found love. But since I was still an unhappy person we had many problems. Often he would ask me why I always seemed so unhappy. Finally I began seeing a psychiatrist who diagnosed me as clinically depressed with anxiety. I felt relieved that there was an explanation!!! Then I started taking anti-depressants.

The drugs relieved some symptoms, but had so many bad side effects. I couldn't think clearly and my brain seemed to turn to mush. This is a bad thing when you are a college professor of economics and need to analyze situations. I had dry mouth all the time. This was minor but very uncomfortable in front of a class. I had no sexual desire. The depression caused some of this, I think, but the drugs really made it worse. I began to put on weight, which is not healthy for someone with a family history of heart disease and diabetes.

When I talked to Dr. Bashir about the side effects of the medications, he gave me literature on the TMS procedure.

I noticed changes within the first week. A knot I had had in my stomach forever suddenly was gone. I actually laughed a couple of times that week. From then I felt more relaxed and happy—for the first time in as long as I could remember. It just kept getting better throughout the treatment process. It has been six months since I finished my treatments. I have a whole new life. My husband is always saying how different I am—happy, loving, and fun to be around. Many of my friends have commented on the change.

It has changed my life in more ways than I can describe.

When I first heard of the TMS therapy option that was available to me I was a little unsure if this would be the way for me. I had tried so many different options in the past to help me deal with my depression, I was to the point where I didn't want to leave my house or go to work or even talk on the phone.

I just didn't see that rainbow at the end of the tunnel like most people see. I felt as if my life was over with. I had ECT treatments in the past and didn't want to be put under for more treatment, and then Dr. Bashir & Lori both talked to me about TMS and how helpful it would be for me. After watching the video and reading up about it and several weeks of feeling down, I finally decided to start the TMS with some hesitation.

I was like this isn't going to work; nothing else has in the past. So we started TMS on a Monday and by Wednesday I was having less panic attacks. I have now had 30 treatments and I feel great. I am sleeping better, my mood is a lot better, and I want to leave the house now. It has been a long time since I have felt this good. I thank Dr. Bashir & Lori a lot for urging me to have the TMS done. With out it I would still be sitting at home and not leaving the couch. My family has even noticed a big change in my attitude and my appearance. I would recommend TMS to others if needed in the future to help treat their depression.

Dear Dr. Bashir and Lori,

My sincere gratitude to you both for explaining the TMS treatments to me. As you know, I have fought depression for over a decade. I tried so many different medications, was hospitalized twice, and just couldn't come out of it. Finally, during my last hospitalization, you, Dr. Bashir showed me the DVD on TMS. My husband and I decided it would be a good option for us and more importantly a safe option.

You both made me feel very comfortable and patiently explained everything to me. After 26 treatments and almost a year later I can truthfully say I am depression free! I no long take any anti-depressants.

I am so grateful for this technology. It wasn't painful, I was never scared or uneasy, and it worked. Thank you Dr. Bashir for bringing this to the Decatur, IL area.

Sincerely and with many thanks to you both.